count me in if there's free food.

2012-01-12T23:20:00.001+08:00

things are very different now.

the world is quiet here.

2011-12-19T21:01:00.001+08:00

Remember how i said the holiday is gonna be interesting?

well, fuck.

LOL. #bubbleburst

2011-12-07T16:00:00.001+08:00

this holiday is going to be interesting. ;)

2011-11-16T20:57:00.001+08:00

"We die, but our species will live on with the knowledge we left behind. As science improves so does the standard of human life, like medicine for example. What does religion offer society besides a church on every street? I know you don't see it that way because you're obsessed with dying and going to heaven and the end of the world (Revelations). Atheists live for a better future, you live for a better death. You think we're all sinners, I think we're much better than that."

read it somewhere... but got me thinking. As much i love Him, i do not like clerical criminals who run the religion.

2011-11-01T21:29:00.002+08:00

I think looking through (old) photographs is quite therapeutic. also, i miss you Mummy. wish you were here. (: rather, wish i were there with you!

also, i am in need of a portable charger for my phone -.- it gets to like 45% by 6pm with very minimal app usage. ):

2011-10-26T23:11:00.002+08:00

Today we went out as a family-- the 4 of us. I like it. i think we should do it more often. i've lost track of time, lately, because i forget what happened in my life as the days go by. All i know is that i have somehow become a needy, somewhat clingy girl to Edsel. Like, i can see and feel this change in me myself. i am only -truly- happy when he's around. is this healthy?

2011-10-06T20:22:00.001+08:00

my days have been so lovely,

without you. :) TEEHEE

2011-09-03T01:23:00.001+08:00

i don't know why but with you i'd dance in a storm in my best dress, fearless.

2011-08-30T13:42:00.001+08:00

what colour shall my nails be?

2011-08-20T23:21:00.002+08:00

some people exist just to make you unhappy.

anyway. Hi! how's things over @ your side. i hope it's been better than mine. the holidays are coming and i can't wait. should i get a job? then i'm one step closer to those Louboutins...

on the other hand i don't mind just lazing around with Ed for a few days. Exams are coming and they'll get by soon, so we'll have much more time and freedom on our hands. Yea, i think i should get a job. doesn't hurt to have more money!

i want to visit the Bird Park this holiday! been saying then i want to go there for a while now. and i want to go to the movies. the last time i stepped into a theatre was during HP7. and about time for a second visit to the Science Centre, they must've put up new exhibits by now, and perhaps, catch a glimpse of NJRC'11...

and i really need to get my nails done. i cannot look at them anymore because the dead skin pile-up is hideous. i'm waiting for OPI's the Muppets collection to be released!! RAINBOW CONNECTION IS A BIG BIG BIGGGGG WANT. i have a strong feeling it will take over Mad as a Hatter as the most coveted polish.

i might re-perm my hair because it's long enough for curls now. maybe i'll gather enough courage to dye my hair this time? HAHAHA I DON'T THINK SO. i like my hair colour. very much. and i haz bangs again. (: gonna keep it for a while before putting it to the side again. i like bangs :D

also, phone contract ending soon and that means a new phone! :D finally! hopefully the iPhone 5 would've been released by then so i can haz it.

okay, back to the books. or the bed? THE BED. Y IS DIS EVEN A QUESTION

2011-08-16T15:57:00.001+08:00

2 more chapters. C'MON JOEI

2011-08-15T22:31:00.002+08:00

How have all of you been?

i haz been cramming Law into my head. sigh. Really hope to finish chapter 7 by today but it seems quite impossible. very little days left to the paper! NEED MORE TIME.

CRS presentation went well today (: i hope i get an A!

been watching Generator Rex HAHAHAH. Edsel lor, he go download. eh the series nice leh! if you got time you also should give it a chance. i like Agent Six. and Rex. DUH HE SO CUTE HAHA

plan to go back to dancing once the holidays are here. i miss it. been stretching every morning and before i go to sleep in hopes that i can perfect a Scorpion (like those cheerleaders) soon. :D

this period always gets me edgy, because years ago this period was Presentation Week @ NJRC. I kinda miss it. the whole experience. But to go through all that once more the same way it happened? LOL NO THX

come to think of it, i'm glad i've experienced it. i grew up through it. i wouldn't have it any other way, i guess.

Looking at old photos, now. told myself not to quite some time ago but i can't help it.

Looking at recent photos, too, and realize how surrounded i am with great people, but how alone i really am. All i've got in the world is Edsel, really. That's why i can never leave him-- i will be nothing. alone and lonely and i cannot stand being solitary.

for every single time i doubt that they still love me, i know Edsel does. it comforts me. it is the only reason i will have the will to get by every day.

Do you still love me? do all of you?

lol i need a drink lah. and some retail therapy.

5 chapters to go. LET'S GO

2011-08-11T22:22:00.001+08:00

i don't think anyone knows how lonely i feel, every day.

2011-07-20T18:07:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, i feel like i only have Edsel, and no one else to rely on when i fall down.

2011-07-04T21:53:00.002+08:00

Nowadays, i feel quite down.

But there's very little things in life that a nap can't solve.

2011-06-25T15:22:00.007+08:00

Them singles. always talking about how rare their Miss/Mr Right comes by. Do they know that even if they do come by, at the right time, it is not Happily Ever After? more like Happily A Few Months After.

you're bound to go through some unhappy times. what, you thought finding each other was the whole deal? it's barely half.

it takes work. it's tough and rather draining. sometimes you feel like dropping everything when things get too heavy and say, fuck this, i'm not ready this.

Happens all the time.

Then again, i understand why you want to get here. Having someone with you is pure bliss. to go through things with you, thick and thin, and having someone always there for you. the support, the concern, the love. going through life every single day, knowing that there's someone who accepts you for who you are and loves you for it. Waking up every morning to a text full of love, and bringing whispers of sweet nothings to bed. it feels so good.

the best one's gotta be the genuine joy on their faces every time they see you. that smile that lightens up their entire being. those arms that spread when you come nearer.

Good, isn't it? yes.

it's the closest thing we have to magic.

2011-06-10T13:07:00.003+08:00

Me: *scrolls through bridal shoe collection on jimmychoo.com* Baby what type of shoes do you like?

Ed: i like cheap shoes.

2011-06-06T16:16:00.002+08:00

i'm not sad.

i'm not mad.

i'm just disappointed.

if you guys can do that for her, why not me? and why didn't you guys tell me about it so that i can join in the celebration.

i didn't even get cake.

2011-06-06T15:46:00.000+08:00

PEOPLE @ BAGGU ARE SO LOVELY!! ;D

2011-05-30T23:29:00.010+08:00

lovely.

2011-05-30T00:07:00.000+08:00

I AM 18, FUCKYEAHFUCKYEAHFUCKYEAHFUCKYEAH

2011-05-25T10:46:00.000+08:00

i miss you.

2011-05-22T23:08:00.006+08:00

and to think i even texted you, even if it was your old number... you know what? i'm glad i texted to the old one. then you would never know. then i wouldn't have gotten a text that's prolly not sincere and believe that we can one day be (best) friends again. sucks to see everyone going, "oh i'm meeting me sec sch mates! i miss them so muchhhh." i do miss you, but it seems like it isn't mutual.

to think i still go through old photos and smile and wonder if i should text. i can still remember every hurtful thing you did, word you said and well, basically everything. Should've listened to what Ruilin said, then... silly me.

sure, i didn't play the best friend role great either. i just thought there was still understanding and respect.

to think i still wanted to mend our relationship. Here's to us, darling. it was good while it lasted. these tears are the last ones that will flow for you. i still wish you the best, dear. graduate with great grades, get a fab job, marry him, and live blessed. good luck! (because with 5 kids around, you know you'll need it! (: )

2011-05-17T01:15:00.001+08:00

eh sia lah, bastard siol. :(

2011-05-14T22:46:00.002+08:00

i want to start appreciating you more. so many people tell me you're a blessing, but why do i keep behaving this way? if i were to see myself from a third person's view, i don't think i would like myself very much.

but i can't help it. i can't stand staying here, but i never take the plunge because there is so much to let go. the worst thing is that you are so good to me. so good for me. but just not good with me. do you understand?

i won't blame you if you don't, because i don't think i make sense. i just want to move forward. move forward from this whole scene. but i never do, because i give up trying to decide which path to take. stakes are too high, or because i get distracted. and it's just left there. like unfinished business. no matter how much i tell myself not to let it bother me it always does. things you do, things you say, it always triggers such thoughts that make me feel so engulfed, i run away from it again, and the vicious cycle continues.

i really want to move forward because i've been dragging this for far too long, and it has been increasingly unfair to you on your part.

2011-05-05T21:01:00.002+08:00

GUESS WHO IS TURNING 18 THIS MONTH FUCK YES FUCK YES FUCK YES

2011-04-22T00:21:00.002+08:00

i love my current life, i don't wanna graduate!

2011-03-28T23:11:00.002+08:00

i think today is your birthday. i don't remember that clearly now... anyhow, Happy Birthday! (: i miss you! we should hang out. i really, really miss you.

please let me find you. please mail me if you see this.

2011-03-21T23:50:00.003+08:00

whoa, the past just comes back and haunts you even if you've kicked it aside for so long.

A few moments ago i remembered all sorts of things many people have told me. Things they feel about me, things people said about me, things about me, and more. it was pretty freaky because i didn't do nor see anything to trigger any of it. it just... happened. like voices. especially the one Mr M. Ang told me, that really hit hard. in fact, it still hurts.

so i decided to go through old photos, old msn convos i've had back-ups on, stuff like that. hahaha i looked derp mxm, i used terms like 'hahas' and 'okaes', and ridiculous hair and smiles. and i really want to go back in time so that i can slap 13/14/15/16 year-old me for making certain decisions. i wanted the wrong things and gave up the right ones.

but who's to say what's right or wrong, anyway. it all depends on perception.

thought of texting everyone of how much fun we had, but things aren't the same now. i wished i could get back in touch with so many people, but i don't really know where to start. can't find a nice 'reason', nor the courage.

it's nice to revisit memories. i hope this is the last few times, though. thinking 'what could've been' doesn't really matter; it can't change anything.

moving on, i am broke. like penniless, sort of broke. i rely on Ed for daily expenses until payday! (perks of having Ed around) though, he isn't exactly wealthy also... oh well! take this time to lose some weight.

i found a job! i couldn't handle being broke anymore. i'm working office hours @ Tanjong Pagar, i welcome all visits :D

2011-03-12T01:15:00.003+08:00

sometimes (like times like these) i wonder how much i mean to you, really. do you love me as much as you say you do? or, do i really spite you that much?

because, sometimes i see you around. and when i do see you around i don't know if i should say hi, or give you a hug, or simply do nothing. but i do know one thing- i dread seeing you around. i dread having you around. not because i don't like you or anything, but because i don't know how to react when you're around.

i mean, sure. i get into fits like, who do you think you are, man. but usually before i can think further i am already distracted. so it never gets solved.

i also realise that this happens (very) frequently. the being distracted thing. no wonder nothing ever gets sorted out!

whatever. i'm off.

2011-03-03T19:59:00.003+08:00

Yesterday i went to the movies with Ed. it was a typical, beautiful date. we watched No Strings Attached and had ice cream @ Gelare (their banana split is liquid awesome mmmmm). the movie wasn't fab, but there's the consolation of Ashton Kutcher. :D

half of Causeway Point is currently down with renovations, booooo. i really liked that place. i hope the renovations finish fast!

the day before (or some other day last week), Ed and i had Seoul Garden, but today's he's gonna have it again with friends. hahahaha :D U GONNA GROW FAT, BRO

oh yea, my laptop is @ the care centre. ): many of my things end up @ their care centres A LOT. -.- i swear it's not me, it's them. THIS IS ME (BARELY) SURVIVING W/O TUMBLR OMGZSXZSCZSXSZ

the best part is that the exams are over, and i have nothing to do. and i don't have the internet. so now i have the time, but no internet lol whut

oh yeah, the exams. i sincerely hope that i can score much better this time round. surprisingly the only module i am feeling stable on is... Accounts. HAHAHAHAHAHA OMG

i now have 6 weeks of time to waste. i'm up for anything you're planning, just ring me!

2011-02-15T00:19:00.002+08:00

lovely Valentine's spent (L) and the pink rose is real! :D Ed thought it looked like the rose that was in Beauty and the Beast-- my favourite Disney Princess fairytale! aww so sweeeeeeeeet

2011-02-13T21:48:00.002+08:00

something's gotta change, things cannot stay the same, oh.

2011-02-07T23:08:00.003+08:00

My, my, aren't you a big (ugly) bitch.

2011-02-06T23:58:00.000+08:00

lol i really want a new phone please.

2011-01-18T23:28:00.003+08:00

haven't posted since last year HAHAHAHAHA OMG I AM SO FUNNY

hello! i have been good. the new school term has not been kind on me. i am wayyyy behind syllabus for every module. And i really need a better GPA or i am pretty screwed. Ah, i'll survive!

i am taking up a few new stuff here and there this year. picking up Malay, doing yoga, also working on a few personal projects, and more. have to learn to manage time more wisely- i really can't afford another disappointing set of results.

oh, and i am now a Knight in MouseHunt, BEAT IT. i am actually quite embarrassed to admit that i am at such a high level at such a (stupidly) lame game. it's like admitting that you are level 600 on MapleStory. which i also have to admit i used to play. i am was a level 32 ice/lightning wizard. Yea.

and not to sound geeky or anything, but i am recently quite interested in programming languages like Java. gonna self-teach during the holidays! hahahaha wrong time to develop interest in programming, huh! considering i was in Robotics. this may be because i find hot nerdy guys attractive lately. those computer people. like programmers and software engineers and wed developers and shit. with nice biceps and chest. and tall. and wears glasses. HAHAHAHA (Y)

i have to find time for dance- i love it so much! i just wished i had started dancing sooner.

i hope you will find time to do your favourite things this month too!

2010-12-27T23:42:00.003+08:00

chilling in the Jacuzzi with a breezer is the sex. (Y) what made the night sexier? i was with my girl Bev (L)

Woodsvale looks great in the night, especially with all the Christmas decorations. this Christmas has been pleasant (: lovin' life! looking forward to 2011, and as cliche as it sounds, i've written down my resolutions. and i really intend to fufill all of 'em!

at top of the list, i really hope to be emotionally healthier, if you know what i mean. haha i hope you do. because it's quite difficult to explain...

i feel very sexy these few days. HAHAHAHAHA ;D i hope you do too!

2010-12-18T00:16:00.002+08:00

what a nice day today was!

Darling is going on vacation from Monday all the way till 30 Dec. :/ gonna miss him so much! so i spent the entire day with him today!

we had plans to go to to Cine to catch a flick first, discussed on AMK Hub, but we settled with Junction 8. We watched that Narnia movie, the kid playing Edmund has become quite a cutie. haha i thought he was cute since the first Narnia film. overall the movie was good, partially because i've always wanted to be on a ship like the Dawn Treader. :D like a pirate or something!

had lunch @ Pastamania and i must say that the cheezy bacon pasta is mad good, dessert @ Marble Slab Creamery, if you like Apple & Cinnamon you must try their sundae! i wasn't a fan of cinnamon until i tried this baby. also, if you happen to be at Junction 8 and craving for some dessert, and deciding between Häagen-Dazs or Marble Slab, pick MS. it's good ice cream at good prices.

i wanted to visit Sephora to get some supplies so we went to Ion, and we shopped around Wisma too. hahaha sometimes i like the look on Ed's face when i go 'oooh can i visit that store?" he rolls his eyes so far to the back of his eye socket, i sometimes wonder if he can see his brain. BABY Y U SO CUTE

went to the Esplanade to meet Bev Sards Danya Nash Shafiqah, their friend was performing in a show choir! (: Popeye's for supper @ Singapore Flyer, yes fried chicken and potatoes (also fried) at 10.30pm in the night. and i say i want to lose a few kilos, hahaha i so cool

i love you, Edsel! (: everyday i wake up and think of you, and i know you'd be thinking of me too. i'm so lucky to have you!

P.S. i need a good, quick-dry top coat that gives a good shine! any suggestions? i heard ORLY is pretty fine, and i find the colours they have absolutely pretty!! where to find ORLY?

2010-12-03T15:13:00.000+08:00

you left me speechless, so speechless.

2010-11-30T15:30:00.003+08:00

i often have the urge to leave everything behind. withdraw every cent i have, grab all that i need, stuff it into a bag and go to somewhere far away. 走一步，算一步。

it's not running away, it's more like... getting to know more about yourself and the world.

2010-11-26T00:23:00.000+08:00

haha lol my Nokia is back at the Care Centre.

2010-11-19T01:29:00.006+08:00

hi, should i dye my hair?? argh, i like my natural hair colour, but i like other colours toooo! but like, my hair virgin ah! and like, once you dye, you'll keep dyeing. SO HOWSXZSC

and i still ain't used to contacts. i like glasses, still. but contacts got like, so many colours and designs toooo

i'm like just finish O level sia! y'know, those graduating peeps, the 'eh should change hair colour? must start wearing contacts! must change image!' phase. HAHA AFTER POLY FIRST YEAR THEN EXPERIENCE THIS HAHAHA LATE BLOOMER SIA

see? being a virgin sucks. you take too long to decide whether you want to deflower yourself. so girls, lose it fast ok?

haha, kiddin'.

OR AM I? O:
>:D

many people will be like, 'stop whining you stupid bitch, it's just hair.'
but it's VIRGIN hair! i hope you'll indulge me. i'm just being that bit much of a prude lah, can. i'm not frigid ok. everyone's nervous for their first times. i have a feeling i will really like my hair BUT I CAN'T SEEM TO MAKE THE FIRST STEP

hahahaha here i am whining about hair, LOL. argh i hate this indecisivenesszxzczxsz

SHOULD I OR SHOULD I NOT, THAT IS THE QUESTION.

2010-11-17T23:55:00.002+08:00

that's just because it was never easy in the first place.

but why do i bother to keep trying?

well, because i still love you. do you?

2010-11-10T23:28:00.001+08:00

You leave in the morning with everything you own in a little black case
Alone on a platform
The wind and the rain
On a sad and lonely face

Mother will never understand why you had to leave
But the answers you seek will never be found at home
The love that you need will never be found at home

Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.
Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.

Pushed around and kicked around
Always a lonely boy
You were the one that they'd talk about around town as they put you down

And as hard as they would try
They'd hurt to make you cry
But you never cried to them
Just to your soul
No you never cried to them
Just to your soul

Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.
Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.

Cry , boy, cry...

You leave in the morning with everything you own in a little black case
Alone on a platform
The wind and the rain
On a sad and lonely face

Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.
Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.

2010-11-06T22:04:00.002+08:00

i got reminded of the night in school after the competition, the night where we were all tired-physically and emotionally. the night where a few hours ago, all of us found out none of us made it to the finals.

you were broken because you tried your best. i was broken because i have disappointed many. two broken souls. i guess that's when you realize you are each other's comfort. i don't actually remember much, all i actually remembered was the embrace we shared.

don't worry, i'm not asking for anything- i just got reminded.

well, that is all.

2010-11-05T22:30:00.003+08:00

i spent the day roaming the island aimlessly alone today. i went to Farrer Park, City Hall, then Vivo, then Chinatown- rather weird day. i sat at Starbucks watching people go by. i had Mos Burger for lunch by myself. i know i said i'd never eat lunch alone, but today was different. because when i was at Mos Burger, everyone around me, by that i literally mean 360 degrees, frontbacksidetoside, were having lunch by themselves. it was like Loner Day LOL. like, people spend Public Holidays like that? i thought you're supposed to either celebrate Deepavali if you're Hindu, or spend time with friends or family?

then again, i didn't either.

but lunching alone with several other people alone is an experience quite new. everyone is sitting by themselves, but eating together. and i know everyone felt that atmosphere, somehow! there were many smiles exchanged and it's like, getting to know people without actually talking- i don't really know how to put it in words! fun times.

i want to go to Farrer Park again, with company, of course. the mall is new and i have yet to see what tenants are there. i will be going down to City Hall tomorrow, i am working at a fab German collectibles store, come visit me if you like! and i have to go back to Vivo City next week to collect my phone. oh i didn't mention my phone! See. a couple of days ago i bought a new phone over-counter for myself, Nokia X3. it's brillant, really, the internet's quite fast and the whole touch and type concept is cool. and it's pink (Y) though i preferred the Lilac colour. :D but so anyway it gave my quite alot of inconveniences, too many to list, and it's, well, not exactly functioning properly 85% of the time. but i loved it. very much.

to salt to the wound, it was only 5 days old. ): and it already behaves like a 3 year old.

dad yelled at me today for dropping the pack of fishball soup he bought. tried to ignore it but i can't help but to feel a slight annoyance at his behaviour. my dad is rather intriguing. he thinks everyone else is going bonkers when he is the one who's rather eccentric. i'm telling you, his mood swings are worse than my own. but whatever, i don't care that much about that, i love my dad. just that he annoys me sometimes. -.- CAN'T WAIT TO MOVE OUT

imma compile my research for FOM tomorrow after work, and also take some time out to read my library books-they're due in a week and a half! been some time since i've read a book, good time to catch up.

talking about catching up, i'm like an ITB fail, can someone please coach me?

2010-11-03T23:19:00.002+08:00

i'd like to say that i'm so glad i have some people in my life now, i won't know what i'd be without them. and sure, i'm feeling not my best now, but i'm still glad.

but now, i just want to run away from all that.

2010-10-26T14:58:00.002+08:00

hi, my life is awesome!

what about yours?

2010-10-12T21:27:00.004+08:00

Friday, 8 Oct

Ed and i took a looooooong time to decide where to go today, from 11am till 3pm -.- our initial plan was to go to Downtown East area, Wild Wild Wet or something, but we went to IKEA instead HAHAHAHA. at first while waiting for the shuttle bus we thought we were waiting at the wrong place because there were no signs/time schedules placed anywhere to indicate HEY. TIS' THE SPOT TO WAIT AT, and we were getting kinda worried cos some people saw us and, well, they started queuing behind us... and the line was getting pretty long. after worrying for half an hour the bus came, HALLELUJAH MOMENT!

IKEA was the same, i guess, but it was rather fun to pretend that each mini showroom was our apartment. :D and we even got some ideas for our future homes weeeee

spent some time at Tampines 1 and Tampines mall for a while, and bought takoyaki (yum!) i spotted a pretty wallet @ Dorothy Perkins! :D

Sunday, 10 Oct

was supposed to go get lunch/dinner with my classmates, but i sorta got stood up. :/ but anyways, i headed home and called Ed up, then we went to his place to swim! fun times :D i need a new swimsuit, i don't want to identified as The Girl Who Is Always In A Brown Bikini. -.-

Monday, 11 Oct

was supposed to have everyone over for a movie marathon! but some of us can't make it so i cancelled it. nothing Ed and I organize ever comes to plan :/ oh well. we watched Professor Layton and it was pretty good. ;D and the first few minutes of Up. it made me cry and for some reason, my eyes hurt like hell after crying, like it burned and burned and stung, a lot. i got scared and i was screaming and shit. i was afraid i was going to go blind, cos it happened a few days at home and i could only see blurs of colours for a while. i teared not tears but a sticky liquid too, quite recently, frequently. my eyes are worrying me, i should see a doctor. :/

after the movie and the very scary experience, Ed rode me to Causeway Point on his bike ;D i love love love taking rides on his bike, cos when you ride behind the world whizzes past so fast and it gets so windy and everywhere just seems bright and cheerful and happy, and we always stop at minimarts to get popsicles and drinks and snacks, and sometimes i fall asleep on his back when we take longer rides.

the whole CWP like renovating sia. and no more Mos Burger ): ): mad sad. i hope Mos comes back! we had sushi for dinner and bought milkshake to share on the way home. weee ;D

Tuesday, 12 Oct

went to school for yearbk meeting, was late by more than half an hour -_- had Pepper Lunch with Melissa-i missed her! Pepper Lunch never fail to satisfy (: and i bought 3 gorgeous nail colours! ESPECIALLY THE GREY, I'M SO HAPPY I FOUND THE GREY!! ;D GORGEOUS!

met Ed and we went to the Science Centre! lotsa fun! but i felt a lil tension, haha i always do whenever i'm at the Science Centre, cos it reminds me of NJRC.

Science Centre changed quite a bit! and tickets were not so costly. (: the exhibitions are not as interesting but it's still fun! ;D the next time we visit, we're gonna go earlier. cos we reached at 3.30pm, and it closes at 6 -.-

had delicious candy from Curiosity Souvenir Shop, IT TASTES GREAT AND IT LOOKS GREAT. it's rainbow spiral lolly, mmmmm i want one now! my candy obsession is back.

i have had such a lovely week with my beloved boyfriend (L) tmr we're going to the ZOO! :D and BAKING CUPCAKES WITH ALL MY LOVELY PEOPLE! (L) YAY YAY YAY i love you i love you i love you, Ed! *kisses*

2010-10-08T23:32:00.002+08:00

i had a dream, Ed cooked me a bowl of maggi mee in my favourite flavour and added 2 hotdogs, fishballs, broccoli and an egg, sprinkled with spring onions, just the way i like my noodles!

BUT THEN I WOKE UP FML, Baby, please prepare a bowl for me?

2010-09-29T23:50:00.002+08:00

i'm so in love, i swear. i feel like i'm falling in love all over again-you know that feeling? this all that i'm feeling is so fucking surreal. like, i feel like i've known him inside out but every moment i discover something i didn't know about him, foreign yet familiar, he confuses me, but i like being confused, somehow! everything's spinning, everything in a whirl but nothing is actually moving. i just don't know how to explain, but i can't contain it either, oh my god, he's all i see, this all can't be healthy, but i feel so good, i can't figure out what this is, but i feel so much of it, what?

call me crazy, but it's true, i'm so in love.

2010-09-24T23:30:00.002+08:00

what a fun day!

i woke up at noon and left home after getting ready. i spent the day with Ed. we had no plans whatsoever, so we decided to go somewhere we had never been to, so we went to Kallang. HAHAHA, empty place, really, but they had an ice skating rink. didn't go, though, too many people. you're only half a metre's radius away from everyone else. the mall is pretty... boring, so don't head there, it's like a one time deal. but they had Starbucks and a BritishIndia outlet, oh and a cinema. it's really the only few things that saved the entire mall. the whole place full of random shops LOL. but it was fun walking around Kallang on foot. not many buildings around and quiet.

we headed to the Esplanade next, i wanted to see some of the art galleries that are open to public. and we planned to take a walk around town, walking pass all the buildings, observing people in offices, laughing at all the busy people crossing streets hastily against rich tai-tais with their many bags and nice shoes who walk slowly like they have all the time in the world. but it rained so we didn't had the chance. Ed said we'll do our city walk next time, in the evening, so we can see the city lights (and also, see how many people do OTs on a Friday thru the windows :D) i've always loved the city at night, it's so much more interesting! Raffles City was crowded as usual, it makes you wonder if these people, shopping at 3-4pm, have jobs or not.

Spent too much time deciding whether to watch Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps @ The Cathay or Cineleisure, that we missed Orchard station. blame the rain, or we could've walked instead of taking the train! Anyhow, we ended snoozing on the train and we woke up @ Ang Mo Kio. hahahahah it's funny when you realize we spent so much time trying to decide between 2 places, and all it took was a half-awake Edsel suggesting 'Babe, Ang Mo Kio got cinema, let's go?' to decide on a theatre.

i thought the movie was just alright, it didn't really explain much, though, on how Wall Street fell, but it did try, but you kind need to have a rough idea of it first, and know a few terms and ticker names or you'll just become lost for a while. either that or you can catch the lightning speed Chinese subs to understand. and it took me a while to realize that the whole Keller Zabel firm was like a fiction representative for the Lehman Bros. didn't like the movie very much. :/ Micheal Douglas, Shia LaBeouf and Carey Mulligan saved the movie (her American accent made me believe she was American!). Ed stoned thru the entire movie and i told him he should stick to his wires, calculations and chemicals. he agreed. xD

instead of walking around in the mall, we headed outside around Ang Mo Kio's streets. Equally boring i guess, but it was part of our 'places we haven't visited' plan. we had dinner at some random hokker centre because they had BBQ chicken wings! :D not as steady as Lagoon's, but still enough to satisfy my craving HAHAHAHAHA

Ed says he'll bring me to the zoo next Friday (POLAR BEARS!), we're going to Resorts World on Tuesday or something. and we're thinking of a picnic @ the Botanical Gardens with mates this week. oh and visiting a fish farm to catch guppies or something HAHAHAH aiya something lame lah cos we're so innocent. i'm all smiles! :D

2010-09-19T20:13:00.003+08:00

hello!

i realize i have alot of stuff i need to buy/pay for. so this holiday is not gonna be one of those enjoy ones, imma raise as much money as i can. Dance lessons became costly this term ): sad face.

hate being this poor ): but a few plus points this September!

-Exams are over YESSAAA

-i bought a pair of FUCKNG GORGEOUS SHOES. PWNS ALL. SUPER LOVE.

-my laptop is working fine again!

-i am going to reach Legendary in MouseHunt. i am quite embarrassed to admit that i actually play that lameshit, and got so high rank some more LOL.

-i had sushi for dinner today (Y)

-i finished skins 3 and 4. aww why must Freddie die. ): 1 and 2 are still my favourite!

-Shiseido perfume ;D

-Ed's going to chalet, 3 days, good or bad news.

and also a few bad points this September.

-i still can't ollie. -.-

-i haven't watched Ulgy Betty 4. ): DAMNED LOSER.

-haven't been to a single party.

-a pair of shoes i have yet to wear. i bought and never wore 'em. why? refer to point 3.

-i still can't do 3 Spins in a row on my right leg ): left still can, right kena sai sia.

-let go a pair of clubbing shoes. because i am penniless.

-i am still using the old phone. ): i need a new phone SO BAD

and the list goes on.

Goodbye, imma watch Accidentally On Purpose. Zach is pretty cute. heh

2010-09-05T15:11:00.002+08:00

i have an Accounts paper tmr and i can only do Balance Sheets and Profit and Loss Statements, i can't do no depreciation, suspense and whatnots. HURRAY FOR ME

turned the computer on @ 12 noon, telling myself i will solely use it to check past year papers to practice on, and until now @ 3.30pm i haven't even opened the SP Blackboard website LOL.

okay, now i am.

i put in this much effort and i ask myself why are my grades so disappointing, my logic is twisted!

On Wednesday i had sushi with Baby. Sakae doesn't have that strawberry ice-cream dessert anymore, super disappointed. but i had salmon so it's all good. (SALMON FTW) oh and Sunplaza doesn't offer dinner buffet so don't go to that branch if you want lotsa food at a lower price tag. then we went to watch Grown Ups. Funny film! "Mommy i want some milk" HAHAHAHA.

oh well. shall start @ 4pm. now i wanna catch up on some HIMYM ;D it's legen-wait for it-dary.

2010-09-02T23:54:00.000+08:00

hi, PACC is going to ruin my life, so is Statistics, yay~

2010-08-29T14:07:00.002+08:00

MOB paper tmr, ):

fell sick this week, another fever. Don't you hate fevers. especially when i can't really afford to fall sick now because the exams are in a week and my notes are still on the shelf where i left them when school's out. Yes. Exactly 3 weeks ago.

why 3 weeks pass so fasttttt. super sian. wished i had more time.

and oh, my phone drowned and now i am reduced to using a phone with the very traditional keypad and i can barely send a text message. i used to be so good at typing with this keypad but now i'm just lost. NEED A PHONE WITH BASIC QWERTY, AND INTERNET CAPABILITIES, LIKE, SO BADLY.

i can call though. since the numbers are just there. but argh, hate it. ): saving up a sum to buy a phone over-counter. kinda psyched to find out an iPhone only costs $888 ;D yay~ now to wait for the white one to be available!

i shall then be saved from this misery i have from this traditional phone.

did'cha know it now takes me 4 mins to type 'okay i will be there! (:' smiley and all? -.-

2010-08-15T00:20:00.006+08:00

i feel like i should update about the trip to East Coast, but hey, photos say it all, go to facebook- they're all there! :D CHERYL BEVERLY SADRINA BELL NASH-KHAIRUL EDSEL MAD (L) (L) (L)

(khai and nash-- SEE WHAT I DID THERE)

i am still rather afraid of the skateboard. ha-ha. but i love cruising on it, weeeeeee~

i spent my first week of holidays without touching my notes or whatsoever, not that i intended to in the first week, but i'm just surprised (and disappointed) that one week passed so fast. ): only one more week to enjoy myself before hittin' the notes @ week 3.

rather worried that i am feeling no shit for the upcoming papers. like every day is fun day! next week i have absolutely no plans except a few (>;D)

i (kinda) love livin' like this, no plans. the texts and calls on the cell are itinerary. but i know this won't last long, so better enjoy ah!

oh and i'm stuck with an emerald colour on my nails for a while. cause i have this set of ugly (and uber painful) cuts and abrasions on my knuckles the finger joint nearest to your nails, and i'm afraid of getting polish remover solution in the wounds 'cause i know it BURNS AND HURTS LIKE HELL LIKE ACID BURNING ON SKIN BURN BURN DISSOLVING IT SO FAST BURN BURN BURN

not that i have tried. *looks around*

am thinking of going ice skating, visiting the zoo and a trip to the fish spa and more. y'know, the fish spa?? the one where you put your feet in the water swarming with itty bitty fishies and they nibble off dead skin. I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO ONE PLS, THAT'S WHY I'M SO PSYCHED!!! YES THAT DESERVES 3 EXCLIAMATION MARKS!

i'm off to play Plants VS Zombies, because i am a nerd.

P.S. anyone owns the any game on any platform (if there is) for events that happened before "Crisis Core" FF VII? looking for events that happen before the Nibelheim incident, got a lil confused there. tried Wiki but yea. wanna dig up some stuff on the Turks! Because i am bored! and i am a nerd! and because ZACK FAIR FOREVER!

2010-08-12T15:07:00.003+08:00

i am about to finish one of my fiction work that has been hidden under textbooks and foolscap pads since Sec 3, and i am pretty proud of my work. Been some time since i picked up a pen to write a story. a snippet can be found on a previous blogpost! ;D that's the raw version though.

i love writing as male characters. it's fresh and sometimes, it lets you see things from 2 different perspectives. but it kinda takes a lot more work because sometimes when you re-read it, your character seems a lil too much, too often in touch with his feminine side, HAHAHAHA

i took the time out to re-read several past fiction works, (many of them were pretty lousy- i corrected grammar in some, but they were dated 2003 haha ;D and some of them, well, cliche much!) and i realise that i've never tried anything that deals with magic, mermaids, dragons, fairies, blah blah blah, very Enid Blyton sorta thing. also, never created a new world like Narnia or Hogwarts, really. which really had me thinking of writing one ;D

when i have the time, lol, 'cause the exams are like, less than a month away and i am completely lost.

haha, and all of my work are hand-written on paper, yes i was -and am still- that traditional, so i can see how much my handwriting has changed over the years, and my preference for type of pen. hahahaha it's pretty good stuff. i never knew i like ball point so much when i was 9 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

but ink ftw.

sorry, this post is rather self-absorbed. but sometimes it feels so good to relieve past experiences and how the events i've gone through while growing up influenced my writing. i also found a short paragraph of a 13 year old very inspired me, swearing that 'all i ever want to be when i grow up is to be a writer. author, head editor, whatever. just a writer. me and my pen forever.'

"Me and my pen forever."

2010-08-09T00:35:00.003+08:00

Everything can be falling down around you during the moments of your life that are supposed to be perfect.

2010-07-31T00:02:00.006+08:00

Last night, i was in bed, treading my palm across the bedsheets where you sleep. you promised to be back by 2, but it's already 4. i can't help but wonder where you'd be. Baby, it's not the first time. when will you realize you're not 18 anymore? you're a mother now. oh, when we were 18. we were so in love. i never wanted anything more than to call you my girl. Right now, i don't think i can say the same. you are never home half the time. even when you are, you shower, dress up, and leave again. dinner has been take-outs for the past year, the home is a wreck, the kids not given their pocket money, the bills pile up. you are in thousands of dollars in credit card debt. today, Mike had to draw a family portrait for school. he asked me for a photo of you, i asked him why. he told me he didn't remember how you look like.

Baby, our 5 year old doesn't know how you look like. Honestly, i can say the same. you're dressed in clothes i've never seen, carrying labelled bags i've never heard of and said words i never hear you say before.

Josh's school called the day before, asking for your particulars. Apparently, Josh left "Mother's Particulars' blank.

what happened to the girl i fell in love with? where did you hide her? please, return her to me. i miss her so darn much. please, bring her back to me.

i spent another hour awake in bed. i had thoughts of taking the kids, and leaving you. i can't keep clearing up the mess you leave behind every day. i can't keep telling our parents how happy we are. i can't keep smiling at our neighbours when they ask about us. i can't keep taking sick leaves just to stay at home to take care of the house.

More importantly, i can't take care of 3 children without a partner. Josh, Mike, and you.

i reached for the phone again for the 12th time. you didn't answer, and i knew my answer.

2010-07-25T01:31:00.002+08:00

Lovely day. Rather, night, hahahaha. i got hit by a skateboard real hard yesterday and until now it's still swelling, and it hurts. How am i ever going to survive dance class? ):

headed out to town with darlings. lesson learnt, book tix before going to watch a flick in town. so packed. ): we didn't watch Inception in the end, so we hung out. Bev bought this awesome Star Wars jacket from Adidas, and IT SO AWESOME. IT SO AWESOME. IT SO AWESOME.

Star Wars ftw. i've wanted a light saber since 5000 years ago. Luke Skywalker (L) i secretly prefer Anakin. turning to the Dark Side made him hotter, but wearing that disgusting costume and becoming an ugly git in the end just isn't sexy.

i should prolly start on my projects now. DBE, MOB, the works. and start studying Stats and Accounts because i have been lost since the term started.

2010-07-19T23:27:00.002+08:00

just thought i'd leave a post before going to bed. Tonight i'll be in bed thinking 'bout tons of stuff. it's good to lie on bed and think. it's quiet and dark, i love the privacy. Usually i'm against thinking about things. You'll just end up paranoid and you worry too much and you imagine things and you jump to conclusions and cause a ton of misunderstandings and make so many mistakes because you thought too much. But hey, it's fine to let your mind wander once in a while.

sometimes i flip a coin whenever i want to make decisions. because somehow when i flip the coin, in that quick moment when it is in the air i will decide on what i want, haha.

在我心上用力的开一枪

让一切归零在这声巨响

如果爱是说什麽都不能放

我不挣扎

反正我也没差

2010-07-15T23:36:00.002+08:00

i love dance (L) my legs ache fucking much now and i prolly can't skateboard tmr. but i love dance (Y)

painted my nails! they don't feel naked no more. YAY

sorry i can't think of anything now. my legs are aching bad. like you've been on doggy on the floor for too long. argh

2010-07-14T21:53:00.004+08:00

my nails don't have polish on them. this is rare. my nails feel naked HAHAHAHAHAH.

i don't like you. yes, you, lol. i think if you can hear/see yourself you wouldn't like yourself very much either. the world does not revolve around you. not everything is about you. not everything concerns you. you make things sound like as if when a leaf falls from a tree it's an omen that someone's going to take your life. i don't think your life is worth that much of an effort to end it. i don't care about your daily activities and how things around you react to you. i don't give 2 shits what you do at home. i am not interested to be part of your activities outside of school. please stop telling me about your life. and please stop making things up. if you studied, say you did. don't give me that 'OHMYGOD, I TOTALLY DIDN'T STUDY' and you scored an A. don't feel like it's the end of the world at every little insignificant thing. even if you want to, please stop telling me about how much you're going to die. i do not care if you really do die. you are not pretty. you are not even you, you're pretending to be someone else. i don't like you. if you think i'm talking about you, I PROBABLY AM.

one thing, though. anything you can do, i can do better (and sexier). so give it up, he'd pick me over you anytime.

2010-07-07T23:14:00.002+08:00

never gotten a C before, and now i have like, 3. or 4. ): had a good backing of CCA records before, and now i have none.

but i love now haha. just have to work harder and get rid of some distractions i can do without. like watching re-runs.

ONE MORE THING! today i unwrapped my Economics textbook from it's clear plastic wrapper. since i bought it when the school tern starts. (Y) not very useful. some douche told me to buy it. $60.

Last Sunday i got sick. real sick. must've been because i was under the rain on Friday and Saturday. got a terrible fever and a massive headache. those kind that makes you want to jump off a cliff to make it all feel better. anyway i was freaked when i measured a 40.5 C. prolly the highest i ever had. not that i want to break that record anytime soon. didn't feel better until today. no in fact today i was still 37.8 C.

Gotta go to Somerset soon! imma get a backpack for myself ;D loved the rainbow-coloured one that i saw YES IT'S RAINBOW (L) gorgeous, i swear.

Brazil is out of the World Cup. i just had to post this. MAD DISAPPOINTED.

dance tmr (Y) psyched ttm.

Discovery T&L Channel had a show about food, and i want to try the authentic Fish N' Chips from London so much! the host looked like she had an orgasm. actually any decent Fish N' Chips would do the trick now. ahhhh i want Fish N' Chips.

k bye.

is it too much to ask for one normal date to go smoothly, baby?

2010-07-01T21:38:00.001+08:00

i died over and over and over and over again in less than a day today.

tomorrow i'm coming out awesome.

2010-06-29T02:30:00.001+08:00

i can't sleep.

2010-06-28T01:46:00.003+08:00

school's starting in like, hours. :/ so not looking forward to it. what's more, Stats lecture @ 9am is the first lesson. have i mentioned that i left the entire question 2 of the Statistics MST paper blank?

Double kill.

i'm hungry now. and it's 1.55am so the only food place i can think of is McDonald's since it's 24 hrs open. oooh i can use some fries now. mmmmmmmmmm

anyway i'm so glad i have completed the fucking write-up for the fucking Communal event, i feel so damned good now. so what if i haven't started on any of tutorials, pfft. i can strike them off my list now. (Y)

~~1. Communal event reflection~~

2. Econs tutorial 6- COSTS.
And tutorial 7 after angela koh’s lectures.

3. Stats tutorials-possion distribution and normal distribution.
Plus plus do try the SPSS revision on the blackboard!

4. POA tutorial 7

5. MOB tutorial 13

6. DLT assignment

Assignment 1: Key Organisations in the HR Arena

Assignment 2: Best Employers in Singapore in 2009

Assignment 3: HR Functions in Action

Assignment 4: Environment & HRM

Assignment 5: HR Careers

okay i don't feel so good anymore.

2010-06-20T23:34:00.002+08:00

i had a nap for like, 10 or 15 mins and i dreamt i had a Wikipedia page, but there's a

1993-2011

somewhere in the page. Oh my god. i am going to die.

the fuck am i talking about, it's just a dream.

or was it. D: before i die i want to at least own a Louis Vuitton, please. i shall then die peacefully.

anyway. moving on. it's been a rather slow Sunday today, and it's still very slow because it's still Sunday. i haven't started on my DLT assignments, nor the DBE CA2 research i am supposed to do, MOB, Econs, Accounts, Stats tutorials. Well i haven't done anything, really, i've been spending too much time on other unproductive self-made projects that i've started on my own, by myself, but at least i've made a few decisions.

Today is no ordinary Sunday, because it's Father's Day, but i haven't exactly spent the day very Father's Day-like, because i have been watchin TV since i woke up, only stood up to get lunch, and get my notebook, installed Skype on my PSP (yay at that, my PSP is now fixed! $120.) and downloaded the Skype app into my phone. i've been very active on Skype lately, i want to say i don't know why, but i do know why. hahaha ;D

i hope Dad's happy today though, because he and Mom went out together today, to book tickets for us and get groceries. not exactly date-worthy material but at least they were alone without us for that few hours. or minutes.

had instant noodles for dinner for the whole happy family. ;D i like instant noodles, i don't understand people who do not. it is by far one of the most tasty dishes i can whip out, in that many different flavours.

i wonder what i'll be doing tomorrow. no actually i do know, it's just i don't want to share it. Rude stuff, yea.

i have to stop this. this i don't know but i actually do know shit. it makes me sound creepy. and i don't want to sound creepy.

i'm not crazy, either.

2010-06-19T17:56:00.001+08:00

i received my first oversea call to my cell, tis' awesome shit yaw.

2010-06-16T00:27:00.003+08:00

i see people saying 'OH YAY TMR/MON/TUE/WED/THUR/FRI/SAT/SUN

RUGBY/SOCCER/SKATES/BAND/CANOE/DANCE/SQUASH/BADMINTON/CHESS/DEBATE CLUB/WAKEBOARDING/SAILING/TENNIS/CHEERLEADING/CHOIR/DRAGONBOAT/WHATEVER

and well, i have none to go to. good or bad?

2010-06-11T00:12:00.002+08:00

you are magic, aren't you. you're too cute for your own good, boy!

2010-06-09T00:19:00.002+08:00

i take relationships way too seriously. Chillax, joei.

i'm supposed to be studying economics right now but i haven't. today's MOB was shit, because i didn't know what work teams were and the kinds of decision or whatever.

but i feel good. because i know MST is ending in 2 days for me, and it's the GSS period! (L)

i saw the iPhone 4, and i want one. the white one is gorgeous. you can pre-order it now if you're @ the UK! i'm so jealous. i think it will be September or October by the time Singapore ships it in. just my luck that i was born here.

please please ship it here quick! configure it quick to match local sim cards!

not a fan of the whole brick design though. i prefer the curved one of the 3Gs. Ho-hum.

i should prolly head back to Econs. i lead a sad and mundane life. i should do something exciting during the holidays. yes i shall.

everything, everything's magic.

2010-06-07T00:16:00.003+08:00

RazorTV is for losers. srsly.

Firstly, how much you give is a measure of your faith. so when someone sells their bigger home for a smaller one, and use the money to give to build the Lord a home, it is a measure of how much faith they have in Him. they believe in Him so much, they love Him so much.

Plus, not your money, you care what? LOL.

and another thing.

"What do Christians gain when they bring one person to church?" well, you lil cocksucker, a christian gains nothing. bringing someone to church is part of winning the loss. the loss being you. Salvation is presented to the person, and he is born again spiritually by acknowledging that He is King. this means that he now believes that more than 2000 years ago, there's a man who goes by the name of Jesus, born of virgin birth, died on the cross for all mankind, taking away sin from all, redeeming all.

believing in the Lord shouldn't be of peer pressure (as you wankers call it.) One believes because He has touched your heart.

if you didn't kena touched, you jolly well keep quiet LOL.

srsly ah. make so much noise, making such a bug hooha about how Christianity is bad for you because it sucks money from you and requires so much of your time.

One finds joy in serving the Lord, even if it means everyday of the week. why rob someone of his happiness? just like how you guys find joy in jerking off every 5 mins because you have no life. we didn't rob you of this happiness did we!

just because a church is well-heeled, there is something wrong with it? it cheats money?

Screw yourselves! and please, do it right, lest you rob yourselves of your ONLY enjoyment!

Wankers.

2010-06-03T00:53:00.001+08:00

not a good day.

2010-05-30T22:25:00.007+08:00

i'm 17!

BFFs dropped by my place with a cake and a song, the kind you get during Christmas from those choirs in Western countries. i was watching 16 and Pregnant when they came and she was giving birth, so you can imagine the 'caught-off-guard' moment i went thru.

Alex Beverly Shawn Khairul, i love you guys (L)

it was really sweet of them! ;D then we went to Marina Bay. Shawn and Khairul placed their homework before me, so they went off. i was obviously less important. *sulks*

intended to go to Marina Barrage, but we didn't. cos we don't know how to get there. Yes we are idiots.

we went to Marina Bay Sands though. must say i wasn't impressed. after all, they're targetting the high-class people. i was disappointed at what was presented to me. and the anticipated first-ever casino? fucking hell. it's a poor excuse for a legal gambling area. in comparison to Hard Rock, ours is pathetic. it looks so cheap., little counters everywhere like what you see @ the airport customs, except they don't read "PLACE ALL BELONGINGS IN BASKET", it reads "ROULETTE". foreigners and tourists enter for free, but locals have to pay a $100 entrance fee. and they actually paid the fucking 100-dollar levy to go in. Fucking losers. if i were to go gamble, i'd go to Vegas. you get a variety of casinos and a variety of game play and a variety of ~~girls~~ boys. the one here is dog poop. and it's not even fresh dog poop. it's the kind that has been there on the ground since Tuesday because of irresponsible dog-owners and it stains that pavement permanently even after removal. Yea.

and here you have to be 21. not 18. fucking 21!

don't visit Singapore. if you must, don't waste your time @ Marina Bay Sands.

the hotel was no better. the only thing i liked about it was the super super super high ceilings. they reach higher than 70 levels i think! but the silly art piece at the entrance hanging in the air was fucking stupid. it looks like a hairball a giant cat just coughed out. and it's supposed to be art. Bev said an artist once came and couldn't make out what the hell it was. LOL. apparently it is supposed to appreciate the human anatomy. for fuck's sake, i do not look like a hairball. and a hairball was the best thing i could think of to describe it. my first impression was a swarm of flies. the whole fucking family of 'em. includes the second cousin of the first grand aunt's seventh daughter's third son's father that was twiced removed.

nonetheless, camwhore @ the washrooms of the hotel!

i wanna get photos @ Marina Barrage, i'm so going there soon.

where there is food, i am happy! ;D had dinner at a chinese restaurant, like every other birthday for the past 17 years. mmmm. local chinese food is always the best. Recall the chinese restaurant back at Orlando, it wasn't really all that chinese. flavour wasn't there. you only see waitresses in qipaos and cheongsams, and fortune cookies. lol.

i'm 17! (L)

2010-05-28T13:12:00.002+08:00

Today, i was supposed to wake up @ 5am. but i woke up at 11am. Brilliant.

lately i've been lagging behind. i know i should be studying but i haven't. Because somehow i always happen to have something else better to do.

or, i can-somehow- find a good reason to make up for why i didn't hook up with my books
"you had a long day, 5pm today!"

"you already did your homework, that's revising!"

"the train takes forever to reach home."

"ahhh got tomorrow."

"you're too horny. deal with it first."

"oooh facebook. oooh twitter. oooh this. oooh that."

"i can never do economics."

"one more episode i swearrrrr"

"pretty dress! pretty shoes!"

"tomorrow!"

zero motivation to push forward, i like where i am at now. this is not good! have to go forward, babe. or kiss University goodbye! can't afford to screw up.

i don't know what/how to deal with my Other Half, perhaps what he said was true, he "isn't new anymore and the novelty died."

you died i died love died. The End. i choose not to dwell on it, nor do anything about it. hurts lesser, and requires lesser effort, and causes lesser damage to my already tired shoulders. i guess i'm in the same situation as my mom. Clearly, mom and dad died. they're just together because they have kids and are together for so long and have grown used to each other. For our case it's just with the kid deleted from the picture. i guess you can call it, 'easier to live', in this case, to continue to be with you, since i can't say i'm happy nor unhappy, and well, face it, hun, we're as good as being married. and that commitment frightens me, yet gives me support. so i don't know what to do. so if you don't know, don't do anything. That's what i'm doing now. Nothing.

so i'm sitting here blogging, when my textbooks are still in their plastic wrappers and pricetags, and many problems unsolved. am gonna ditch this, and head to accounts.

**UPDATE** Not. i'm still here 2 hours later. fucking hell.

2010-05-26T19:45:00.003+08:00

had my ear pierced today!

the experience is somewhat weird when you do it alone. haha ;D i alighted at Woodlands, went to the store, asked for a piercing, got it pierced, and left. rather funny experience cos you can't go,' oh my, that was really weird back there, it's kinda hurting now haha.' to your friend(s).

should be at Asia Conference. i'll have to really try to make it uh ):

2010-05-23T15:06:00.004+08:00

i'm in school.

on a fucking Sunday.

my groupmates and i are doing DBE PBL right now, at least it's going somewhere. i tried to do my PACC tutorial just now and just failed. terribly.

can anyone teach me how to do corrections in general journal form? and transfer to what, profit&loss account? wtf is going on?

and i cannot do stats, either. fucking hell, who really has the time to calculate probability? Probability used to be so easy. it was my best chapter in secondary school. -.-

i do not wish to start on econs.

been rather down lately, or so i seem to be. i can say i wonder why but truthfully i do know why. i just don't want to go back down that road. every time i repeat it to someone i'm brutally reminded.

been there, done that, messed around

i'm having fun, don't put me down

i'll never let you sweep me off my feet.

Burning bridges shore to shore
I break away from something more
I'm not turned on to love
Until it's cheap

babe. you can't fool me twice.

i'm making no fucking sense am i.

2010-05-17T18:51:00.001+08:00

sometimes i wish i can be 15 all over again because life was perfect then.

sweetheart, i miss you.

2010-05-16T21:12:00.002+08:00

WAH LAO I LIKE HIM SO MUCH, I WANT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT BUT I CAN'TSZXCSXZXSXZXSXZSXzXSX.

you're so lovely
you're so lovely
you're so lovely
you're so lovely

2010-05-14T19:19:00.001+08:00

don't really know what to feel man. ):

2010-05-10T16:06:00.004+08:00

Ashton Kutcher married an older woman.

Jude Law married an older woman.

Aaron Johnson is about to marry an older woman.

guys i fancy all prefer older women. there's something wrong about me. i know it.

2010-05-05T23:02:00.002+08:00

i love Chua Edsel Ron to bits. i love Chua Edsel Ron to bits. i love Chua Edsel Ron to bits. i love Chua Edsel Ron to bits. i love Chua Edsel Ron to bits. i love Chua Edsel Ron to bits. i didn't copy-paste that alright.

school has been pretty boring, same stuff goes on and on and on. my favourite module is MOB, and i haven't really appreciated Stats yet, need work in Econs and Accounting's completely new to me but i'll get by. ONOW is a waste of time. (so far) i hope it'll get more interesting, soon. but to whoever who says poly life is slack, GFY.

i'm beginning to suspect that they have sleeping gas in all the MLTs. because during lectures i tend to nod. alot. it's fairly impossible to stay awake, even MOB's. i am only able to pay attention during Stats lecture cos Ken Kwan is hilarious. everything he does is hilarious. i think that's his strategy. major LOL, ;D

haven't decided on CCAs, and those that i've joined haven't contacted me back. mad or sad?

sometimes i wonder who i can count on when i really need someone. a number indeed popped in my head. then i ask, who can i really.

things change and people change. life goes on.

2010-05-03T23:28:00.003+08:00

i have a twitter account now, after being anti-twitter since... it began. ;D big HEH.

2010-04-29T14:53:00.000+08:00

beside bev in T2145, with the classroom all to ourselves! ;D

2010-04-27T23:39:00.003+08:00

school's been cool. except the assignments. i can understand completely- it's just the memory part that needs improvement. esp stats. i like our tutor for stats, but i just can't seem to rmb concepts. and only when i'm reminded of, say, a keyword or two, concepts magically fall into place.

argh, been out of school for too long and DPA PPP is too slack, i guess.don't match anymore.

i really wanna do well for poly! ;D chiong ah!

i wonder how long this will last.

2010-04-24T23:03:00.002+08:00

teehee, i just painted my nails. looking super glam. gonna youtube-self-teach myself how to do a french!

shawn just whatev-ed me. am rather upset.

i miss my baby.

2010-04-12T22:11:00.002+08:00

i don't know what to feel about school finally starting, because i've been looking forward to mass lectures and poly life and stuff, but now that it's starting, i'm kinda hoping it would be happening later. Yet, i kinda hope it would be starting in the next day/hour/min/second. i don't really know what to feel not seeing 4E1 peeps in the same room, but then again my sec 4 life was pretty much screwed, so i don't really miss it that much.

the only thing i'm sure that i'll definitely feel on the first day is Ed's absence. what am i to say, he was there for 2 whole years and now he's more that 15 blocks away at every second. i can't whisper how i'm truly feeling about certain things into his ear, i can't fake a headache to get his attention, i can't talk to him when i'm all, "why is she doing this to me?", i can't enjoy an inside joke between the 2 of us alone, i can't sleep in class and go, "oi i copy from you later, then later you re-explain to me k." (i'm really helping him here, re-explaining boosts memory!), i won't have some extra arms to carry stuff for me/fill my water bottle/listen to my whims/copy assignments/do assignments/hand up assignments on time/share food with/explain concepts to me/take blames for me/buy snacks for me/love me.

i realize i'm ~~rather~~ ~~quite~~ ~~somewhat~~ very reliant on him. it's pretty much what you become when your boyfriend's in the same class as you for the past 730 days. i really gotta start being independent. do all my stuff myself.

yay what a way to start the school year.

2010-04-03T22:38:00.002+08:00

back from my aunt's 21st birthday celebration! it was kinda awkward around, considering 90% of the people there are her friends and i don't know them, and darling Kasey 'couldn't make it'. i was the recep and had to make everyone write birthday wishes for the birthday girl, easiest job in the world. the next time i job-hunt, i'm going for receptionist posts!

i've decided to stay club-virgin until i turn 18. that way when Edsel's mom questions me, i can go, "WOMAN, I HAVEN'T STEP INTO A CLUB BEFORE I REACHED LEGAL AGE. WHO ARE YOU CALLING LOOSE?!'

yes she called me loose. (can you imagine?? i was fucking mad when i learnt about it.) yes i am missing out. but to say this line to her is as irresistible as a hot naked man.

i'm just done with my work and emailed my boss. i hope this time i got it right! gotta shower soon, and gonna paint my nails with the OPI look-a-like colour from thefaceshop. but i love this pastel look! gotta get sneakers and more bottoms. gotta get the usual base coat i use from Sally Hansen too. gotta do so many things!

i miss Shawn and Beverly ):

2010-03-27T11:37:00.002+08:00

I'M TYPING OUT MY FIRST BLOG ENTRY ON MY NEW PINK NOTEBOOK! (L)

it's the end of the PPP for DPA peeps. i'm kinda annoyed by those who kept saying 'i'm gonna miss youuuuuuu' to, well, basically everybody because somehow they don't realize that there's another 3 years to go. We're not graduating yet, dude(s).

i'm kinda happy that i didn't reject my DPA offer. i almost did, to go to a JC. but well i'm no JC material and would've probably died at the first PW assignment. or Physics. LOL. but the thought of finishing and enrolling into a university a year earlier sure is enticing! i've made wonderful friends during my time in SP, friends i think will follow me through life (L)

i'm lovin' my new notebook. it's PINK, for meatballs' sake! (L) i just hope not many will have the same one as me. ;D

have to be in school later for Earth Hour. On a Saturday NIGHT.

2010-03-21T21:37:00.001+08:00

i'm re-watching Skins all over again, LOL ;D

idk if i should start on Series 3 and 4, everybody says it's shit.

2010-03-21T01:20:00.004+08:00

Today, i woke up, helped around the house, prepared to leave the house, ended up late meeting Lynn for Word Power, realized i came unprepared cos i didn't know i was supposed to memorize 20 pre-selected verses, attended service, listened to a (rather unconvincing) sermon, left for West Mall, met Ah Ma, Mom, Bro and Cousin, broke fast with yong tau foo, headed home, watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and here i am updating. MLIA.

Today, i wanted to finish housework quickly so i won't be late but i still ended up late. i intended to ask someone how they felt abt the sermon but i didn't. i tried to go on for a full fast but i obviously failed to do so. FML.

2010-03-20T00:50:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEVERLY (L)

i love you ttm and you know it, girl.

things have been cool recently, except IDEAs where i'm pretty glad that we managed to know we're steering into the wrong direction. so instead of screwing it even further, we're gonna rock it in the right way. Yay.

i haven't been cool recently. been feeling down and idk why. :/ i'm happy with the certain thing and the next second i detest it. i'm excited to be part of something and the next minute i can't wait to get away. i'm swell to meet some people and the next moment i'm texting them saying i 'can't make it.'

God knows why i feel this way and He's probably the only one who does; i don't even know myself.

the Notes i've accumulated in my mobile is enough to publish a book. i've been spending too much money. it has been 2 weeks since i last attended service and i'm gradually not feeling Him and loosing fire. my PSP is screwed because it's motherboard died. i'm stalking E on fb and i think i should stop but i can't because E is all i ever think about when i'm by myself but that's just because E is funny and handsome and cute and smart and cool and nice and tall and has those gorgeous eyes in that gorgeous face and those gorgeous arms and cool and funny and nice and handsome and tall and smart and absolutely perfect.

oh won't you walk through, bust through the door and take me away, E.

2010-03-15T12:41:00.002+08:00

every morning i'll wake up and your side of the bed is always always always empty. hating this and wishing there was something i can do about it.

anyway ;D i went to do IDEAs around the afternoon with Khairul, Bevybaby Alex and Eric and i guess we're back on track, with more ideas on our IDEAs. (heehee) Shawnielove came later after the heavy rain (well it rained afterward when he reached shahaha ;D) and i learnt that my ~~awesome~~ $6 shoes are bitches when they get wet. it's super uncomfortable to walk in them through puddless and stuff.

After IDEAs we went to AMK hub to visit the Crocodile store there, and i got more FBT shorts. finally got rid of that NTUC voucher, for one, and finally got more shorts to sleep in, for two. FBTs are super comfy to sleep with. ;D

Bid byebye to Khairul and the three of the besties us went down to Suntec for the IT fair. i got myself a hard disk at a pretty competitive price. Shawn got one too, but it might not work for is Macbook D:

thinking of bling-ing up my hard disk heh heh heh. OKAY I SHOULD AND I SO TOTALLY WILL COS BLACK IS JUST BORING!

dinner @ newyorknewyork and i loved my pasta. Bev totally killed her chicken like how i kill mine everytime i have chicken and Shawn was far too busy trying to pronounce/correcting the spanish words right. ;D

took the bounce-back train and i played lemonade tycoon on Bev's iPhone. if only earning money was so simple and fast. i have roughly $500 bucks now yay! was pretty reluctant to leave Bev and Shawn ):

reached home and headed to bed straight after a shower. i miss Edsel.

Today my desktop showed signs of dying. it restarted by itself more than 5 times in the middle of my working on the newspaper article. this is how desperate i am for a new notebook. and i don't want a (boring) black or silver, i want red or pink please ;D

so now i've just submitted my newspaper article and blogging. i miss Edsel.

2010-03-11T00:25:00.003+08:00

zomg Ed's @ my door! i love him so damn much. looks like i'll be busy tonight. hahahaha, it sounds so suggestive.

maybe it IS suggestive. >;D

i love you boyfriend! (L)

2010-03-10T23:24:00.006+08:00

today, Khairul, Bev, Alex, Eric and me did our IDEAs. it was awesome. very nice of Edsel to help film us ;D

met Edsel up in the morning, had a little tiff ): we cleared up and he decided to send me to Khatib ;D met Khairul coincidentally too! so we train-ed tgt. it was then did Edsel realized he was working from 5pm-11pm, not 2pm-10pm, so i guess we found out Filmer since Shawnielove couldn't make it.

Eric was late so we bought bubble tea and camwhored. i have a new fav flavour now! and i also learnt that Alex isn't a big fan of coffee :p

Booked the gameroom and started on work. Edsel drew the Fred Perry logo like whoa. it resembled the original 99.9%. the Lacoste and Crocodile also. Seems like someone didn't lose his magic after all! (L)

Edsel had to leave early for work, and i pouted for a whole minute and he didn't reciprocate. Stupid boy.

i think we're gonna rock our IDEAs. even it was shit a few days ago. ;D it's cos i have the best teammates ever (L) oh yea, Khairul and Bev are in thier first r/s. ever. and they're making me sick, those HUNNY BUNNIES. even Ed and i also not so hardcore.

Khairul and Bev, LAST LONG xD zomg this is so funny cos i sound like a fucking sec 1 ah-lian. rmb how those lians, everytime when they're in a r/s, they go 'HOPE 2 LAST LONG WIF MIIE BOIBOI", or in their wishlist 'BE WIF MY BOIBOI 4EVA". zomg. and then when they break up they go "THER'S NO SUCH THING AS 4EVA" or "IIE DUN BELIEVE IN LOVE/FOREVER."

hardcore.

okay pictures are alr uploaded on fb. so i don't have to post here ;D

i love my boyfriend ttm. it's funny how i say this today and tmr i'll go 'Edsel is a bitch.' (:

2010-03-08T22:44:00.003+08:00

lately i've been super tired, i have no more income because i lost my job @ the clinic, i blew my IDEAs CA1, my ESS grade is probably screwed, i don't understand QM, i haven't studied for QM, and i'm having my period so it sucks even more. no wait. i'm having my period and there's no Edsel to bitch around to get me a cushion or OJ or turn on the tv or, even, to yell at for no apparent reason because i want to see his pissed-off face. so this is worse.

and i haven't studied for QM. gonna fail so damn bad cos, well, yea i suck at it. i can't afford to fail cos i need a killer grade. i need a killer grade to apply for scholarships. i need scholarships to pay for school. i need school to get qualifications. i need qualifications to get jobs. i need jobs for money. i need money for the most obvious reasons.

fucking vicious cycle.

argh i hate what i'm feeling now. wish you were here, Ed.

2010-03-02T23:48:00.002+08:00

today i had Facts and Lies and it's my favourite GEM of all GEMs. ;D just finish 5 questions before 4pm and you can slack alr, YAYness!

had breakfast @ foodcourt 3 today, breakfast was good. IT WAS THE LUNCH. (right bev. HAHAHA) of all the foodstalls we could choose from, what was the probability (haha, Facts and Lies lesson today talked abt probability the whole day!) that we both picked the worst stalls to buy sucky food from?

2 our of 10 stalls = 20% chance.

P(joei buys sucky food AND bev buys sucky food) = 1/10 x 1/10

which brings us to falling into the 1/100 chance range.

WE FELL INTO THAT SILLY 1% OF A CHANCE. damned sian. ended up being hungry all lesson cos i didn't want to look like a glutton that i was. and ahdi and justin were busy telling me how great their chicken rice and jap food was.

Brillant.

met up with Alex, Khai, and Bev to go to Pizza Hut where we ordered a shared set. ;D the aunty was so nice she gave us soups and drinks (L) had some noisy stinking new-town ~~idiots~~ ~~gits~~ ~~children~~ ~~assholes~~ kids for company. Des and Shawn met us up and we headed home real soon after. Khairul was being the bitch that he is and our r/s is (almost) over.

i just masked my face and i'm feeling too fresh to go to sleep! and i'm hungry. cookie box looks real tempting and i have tao kae noi seaweed in every flavour too! argh discipline. shall not gain any more weight, or even the blind won't want me because they still can tell i'm fat with their other senses and my diet. edsel banned me from all the goodies in the world but little does he know i still have magnum and other tubs in the freezer, cadbury bars, and many many many many many from CNY and that all that was all restocked yesterday. including the seaweed. i think i really should stop. i think i should go swimming again.

oh yea, i need a new job. i got fired last week for God know what reason. any lobang, tell me okay. i need cash because i need more shoes. with no new shoes i will be depressed and start eating like an elephant again. so unless you want to see a fat girl around campus who goes around spoiling YOUR appetite, please find me lobang(s). ;D

2010-02-25T22:42:00.002+08:00

y'know, you're not very attractive.

but you are cos you think you're hot shit

damn i love it.

IDEAS today was crap. i really detested the class. how can the CLS peeps even like it? it's plain stupid. if not for alex and bev i would've died. lunched @ foodcourt 6 today, food was nowhere near fantastic but what to do. it's the foodcourt i'll be @ most often in all my time @ SP, better find something i like there except OJ.

and the teacher is just... well. let's just say she doesn't turn me on. not in a sexual way, in a... well, the appeal way. she's a (claims to be) public-speaking teacher, and i can already spot a few grammar errors here and there throughout the class.

and i wasn't even half listening- i was fantasizing in class. i mean i know everyone makes mistakes. but -.-

what to do. gotta see her for the next 5 weeks. ): better than the normal GEMs duration, definitely, and i thank Him.

Bev was hilarious today ;D her toilet bowl idea had me in rounds and rounds of amusement xD headed to the library to play Taboo!, it's awesome shit. adele was trying to make everything biased- 'where does your aunt stay.' like wtf, how we know! real cute.

i love that KFC porridge thing. had that for breakfast today. ;D gonna have it tmr again yay!

i miss candy ahdi russell thwe ni gary justin kelvin and everyone from CLS- well the whole other half of Boaboa. ): been so long since i saw 'em! ): tmr must go meet 'em up. i actually miss being a public nuisance hahahahaha!

can't wait for tmr's lesson, cos everyone said it was shit. bev and i are gonna rock the GEMs and the whole of our poly academic/non-academic life man. everything distinction! love that girllllll. (L)>

i miss boaboa! boaboa must have a meet up soon kay. and tmr i'm thinking of going down to arab street -since it's friday yay! love fridays- anyone wants a puff with yours truly? ;D